Depressing - A word I thought it can never be used to describe me~~~

Not being productive these few days...
Somehow, the feeling to study hard just gone!!!
My stomach has been "disturbing" me and my mood these 3 days... causing me lazy to do anything...
Something is wrong with me... My bee told me that the speaker of a talk she attended said one out of five women has depression... I guess I am one of them now....
Sometimes I really wonder, I changed or people around me changed??
Couldn't find someone who can speak to my heart anymore....
I still appreciate all those friends around me because they are really great to me.. being with me when I needed them... But couldn't find one who can really understand me anymore..
I used to have friends who can really see through my heart.. I can never hide anything.. I don't even need to say a word to make them understand....
Now, sometimes I tried to make myself vulnerable... But the more I do that, sometimes I feel more invisible...
Seriously, sometimes I need someone who can understand much much more than someone who gives me loads of advices or telling me what should I do...
But ain't this what people normally do??
Even I do the same stupid thing all the time!!!
Stupid right?
Who can be so rational at moment like that?
Perhaps only at blog like this I would admit I am depressed!!!!
Do all human wears different masks all the time?? I mean minimum one..???
I guess we all do...
Do tell me if you have one in mind....
I would like to know such person......