ExAm = WaR wOrLd III

About one hour time to my first paper... Don't feel like reading anymore.. Though I have not been reading much for this paper also.... Just pray that I can remember whatever that I have read through la.... People who knows me should know la I am always bad in memorizing things.... So like what Ann said, just crap~~~ Really had fun the other day when I went to Lian's room to study EUP together with Ann... We discussed about a lot of things and how Lian was so amazed at "The art of crapping" which helped Ann to get A- (or A) for her JDM.... Haha... I didn't crap that well, so I only got B（if not mistaken)... Still not in the exam mood yet though my first paper is coming SOON!!! Maybe really need to wait till I get into the exam hall then I will feel like "It's exam time!!"
Hm.. What should I do after EUP?? Guess I should come back and watch <> first... Then sleep for awhile... Go dinner... Then come back watch some movies..... Good idea right?? Such a wonderful plan... Haha... Just kidding la... Need to finish my revision on Characterization first so that I can start my Semiconductor tomorrow....
Ok, it's time for WAR!!!!!!

tRaCiNg ThE pAtH.....

After writing the "depressing" blog yesterday, I went back to my room... No mood to study yet.. So I read through some of the diaries I have written long time ago.... They reminded me of those time.... Those difficult time that my family went through together when my parents just divorced...
I was listening to the radio as well that time... I heard one of the artists said something that reminded me I should stop trapping myself in that "depressing" mood.... She said there are people on this Earth that are struggling to live with very weak breath without complaining.. Then who are we to complain?? Silly me.. truly.. I have experienced a lot with God... He has brought me through a lot of circumstances that I think I cannot make through without Him.... Where will I be or who will I be without Him??? How can I forget that??
Haha.. funny right??? I just wrote a very down blog yesterday, but writing a totally different blog now... I think as I grew older, I started to forget to look at the wonderful things in my life most of the time... Instead, I chose to look so seriously at things that will pull me down and make myself fell pitiful.... I remembered reading from somewhere... One day when you get tired, feeling lonely and start questioning how long more is the road in front of you.... Just stop, look back and see... How long have you come all the way and how you have gone through.... You will know well that you have not done this by your own but with SOMEONE who cares and watches over you all the time even when you do not realize it.... Then perhaps you won't be asking how long more to go because no matter how hard it is, you're not alone in your journey... I guess too many times, I failed to stop and look back.... I just dragged myself forward with my own strength and felt more tired after awhile..... Now I realized the importance of diaries.... Haha... These are the things that help me to retrace the path I have gone through, gain strength and continue my journey.... I believe this does not happen by coincident...

Depressing - A word I thought it can never be used to describe me~~~

Not being productive these few days...
Somehow, the feeling to study hard just gone!!!
My stomach has been "disturbing" me and my mood these 3 days... causing me lazy to do anything...
Something is wrong with me... My bee told me that the speaker of a talk she attended said one out of five women has depression... I guess I am one of them now....
Sometimes I really wonder, I changed or people around me changed??
Couldn't find someone who can speak to my heart anymore....
I still appreciate all those friends around me because they are really great to me.. being with me when I needed them... But couldn't find one who can really understand me anymore..
I used to have friends who can really see through my heart.. I can never hide anything.. I don't even need to say a word to make them understand....
Now, sometimes I tried to make myself vulnerable... But the more I do that, sometimes I feel more invisible...
Seriously, sometimes I need someone who can understand much much more than someone who gives me loads of advices or telling me what should I do...
But ain't this what people normally do??
Even I do the same stupid thing all the time!!!
Stupid right?
Who can be so rational at moment like that?
Perhaps only at blog like this I would admit I am depressed!!!!
Do all human wears different masks all the time?? I mean minimum one..???
I guess we all do...
Do tell me if you have one in mind....
I would like to know such person......

~~晴天了~~

今天终于没下雨了，但我还是比较喜欢下雨天。
今早一起床就感觉很累。
吃了早餐，送他到车站后，就一个人到图书馆念书。
一个人去，的确有点寂寞的感觉。
不知什么时候开始，自己变得那么不甘寂寞了。。。
道莲帮我借了个人房，谢谢你哦。。
一进去，我就开始睡觉了，直到道莲来找我。。真不好意思。。
好不容易终于肯开始认真读书了，肚子却开始作怪。。
最后还是选择回房。。
直到现在，读书的情绪都还没有回来。。肚子却越来越痛了。。
好，就让自己放肆一下。看一看戏，然后在读书吧！！！
炎热的天气过去了。。。天开始黑了，晚餐该吃什么呢？？
不想出去，因为没有那么多体力和精力。。
原来，读书也会让人觉得累。。。
明明这几天都没有做很费力的事情，就只是读书，却累得像刚爬山回来一样。。
奇怪~~~
不过，心情却没有被累的感觉打败。。
很想做很多事，只是累得觉得懒而已。。。
总结是：我是懒惰虫~~~~就这么简单。=)

StUdY wEeK的星期五

平常的星期五应该是我一个星期里最放肆的一天，因为我会好好用这一天来追连续剧，有时甚至可以不眠不休地把整套剧看完。可是study week的每一天都是工作天（当然除了星期天）~~哈哈。。。 这就是平时不读书的下场！！
浑浑噩噩地有过了一天，今天并没有读很多，因为拿着蔡的手提电脑不断地上网或玩游戏。星期五是游戏天的心情始终无法改。唉~~~~没药救的啦。。。
不过很有成就感的是回到家以后，很无聊地看了从网上下载的一个敬拜赞美舞蹈短片。闷闷地就写了一段，还学得蛮不错的。毕竟短短时间内再加上我其实并没有什么舞蹈细胞，可以学会那么一点点我也很开心了，所以我有心情读书啰！！！
这就是我，很容易开心，也很容易伤心。。任何大事，小事都可以影响我的心情。。。我懂不太好，所以也在改变。。。希望以后我更容易开心，不再容易伤心吧！！！

~~怪心情~~

今天老是提不起劲来读书。
很早就到了图书馆，当然比起别人不算早了，但已是我多天来最早的了。
一整个早上都没有心情认真地读书，一会听听电台，下一会玩玩手机。。
是读累了？？还是被某些事情影响了？？
还好我是在个人房里念书，可以不被打扰。
虽然不喜欢这样的心情，但始终不想打扰它，让它好好发泄，然后再继续冲刺吧！！！
希望心情可以很快好起来~~

Is that my fault??

Went for dinner from library just now together with dear, Min Fei and Chee Han.. On the way, something's wrong with the car.... Then suddenly dear was looking at something and I noticed that the car in front was slowing down... The distance between that car and ours was already quite near and dear was slowing down at all since he was looking somewhere else... So I sort of "warned" him by making "ei ei" noise.... I was worried, of course, because we might just bang that car in front.. So dear was shocked by the "noise" I made and break a bit.... I admit I was a bit overreacted.. But who wouldn't do that at that situation?? He was not happy and replied me in a way that to me it's harsh... Will it be my fault as well if I saw that and didn't say anything about that, and then he banged that car?? Then I have to blame myself and being blamed for not saying or doing anything to prevent that...Yea, truly I felt innocent!!! The car was SERIOULY slowing down!! He was NOT looking at the road that time but somewhere else.. And the distance was already QUITE NEAR.... Well, it's still my fault... He is still unhappy and not talking to me since then... Okay, my reaction was TOO BIG!!!! Well, I'll just have to learn to keep quiet and stay cool~~~~~ What else can I say?!!?!!?!

Another day in library~~~

I guess this is the most unbearable time in a semester for me.. Staying in the library for about 10 hours a day to study... Of course one quarter of the time is used for sleeping.. But this is so not me!! Anyway I have to do this in order to not fail in my final exams... Dare not aim too high now.. Got disappointed last few semesters already... I have learned my lesson.. But sometime it really makes me feel like a student to study in library..Haha...
I am studying mechanical metallurgy today.. This has been the third day studying this subject.. But I am still clueless of what I have learned... Seriously, I am not good in this subject... But I really do not want to fail this subject... So no matter how also I have to crack my head to learn as much as I can~~~
Just wish that the finals will end soon.... Missing the time where I can watch series and movies all day and night!!!