Family Camp '08 @ CCC

Had been a little bit too busy for me recently until I forgot I wanted to blog about the CF Family Camp I joined. As the final year students in CF said, this might be the last family camp that we can join unless we stay for master. Well, I joined the camp with only one intention which was to enjoy the camp and treasure the fellowship I can have with the others. I didn't really expect much from the camp itself, not that I didn't want to learn anything but probably I didn't think about it much since I was also quite busy before the camp.
This year, I think we had the most campers ever since I came to USM. I am proud to say that I have never missed any of the family camp. For each camp, I brought back different things with me. I was really glad that many first year students have decided to join the camp and also for those like Yee Ting and Siaw Ping who joined us as well. For me, I think it will take me a lot of courage to join a camp that most people have already known each other but I do not really know them at all. I hope they enjoyed the time as well.
This year we had our camp at the seaside - Christian Conventional Centre located at Batu Ferringgi. My first year, we went to a "kuala" - Kuala Gula; Second year, we went up to a hill - Maxwell Hill; Third year, we went to resort - Cinta Sayang Resort; This year, we went to the beach - Batu Ferringgi. This place was a very familiar place for me. I had a lot of memories at this place too. But that's not what I want to talk about for this post.
Hm... Where should I start?? Ok, when we were leaving from campus, it was raining very heavily but I can see that everyone was still very excited. It only took us about 45 minutes to 1 hour to reach our destination i guess because I only managed to sleep for a very short time. I really like the place a lot. It's really a place for camp and I always like staying in dorms for camps. Only for camps... Hahaha...
Initially I wanted to write down everything that I remember but it will be too lengthy. Perhaps I just want to share about few things that touched my heart or significant to me.
1. As I have said earlier that I only went with expectation to enjoy the camp rather than learning from the camp. Haha... Sounded like I did not trust the speaker... Of course that's not true. I knew very well that Annette is a very powerful speaker. But for those previous camps, I remembered I always pray that God will speak to me and let me see new things. For this camp, I have no preparation at all. But even the first session on the very first night has touched me so much. It was as though the voice was meant to speak directly to me personally. Those words pierced into my heart. After the first session, I was really eagerly expecting the coming sessions. I admit that I have said that I wanted to change in many many camps. But everytime it didn't really work. Though I know that I have not totally changed but I have experienced the changes in me that make me want to do better so that one day I can really fulfill what I have said to HIM, what I have promised HIM. After I came to uni, I didn't really know since when or why that I have lost the confidence I had in myself. So many times that I tried to avoid things and thought that someone greater than me would handle it better. But the day I left the camp, I brought along the seed which Annette gave to us and asked us to name it. I have named my seed - Mustard Seed (though it is a green bean) but there's a Sunday school song which talks about the Mustard seed has grown into big tree which gives shade to people, place for birds to build the nest. I truly hope that one day I can be a blessing to people around even there's so little that I can do and can bear the fruit of the spirit. Also, I was reminded of a song I have learnt from the National Conference. "Leaving my past behind, knowing much more I'll find, taking the step into the unknown..." After these in uni ( sound like many many years), things that happened really helped to know more about my own self like things I didn't let go after all the years, the struggles, the strongholds that I tried to deny. But they have all made me stronger.
2. I really managed to have very good fellowship with the juniors especially those who were in my group. For some of them, I really managed to spend time talking and chatting with them. For some, I sang songs together with them. For some, I played different different games with them. Even for some, I let them "bully" me for the sake of entertaining them since they did not have anything else better to do. Hah! Though they called me "senior" or "auntie" but they still played with me as if I am one of their age. Sometimes, I was kind of worry that I might miss out or neglect someone, making them feel abandoned. But these juniors really impressed me. They will find their activities and hang out with people not only from their batch. Cool~~ Because I know that sometimes I will tend to stick to people I have already known very well. I was really blessed by them.
3. This year, I finally managed to guess who my BEE was... He was surprised that I managed to figure it out, I was surprised that my guess was right too.. HAHAHA... Perhaps my brain started functioning.... Hahaha... I guess I can now graduate happily, without regret... Haha... Too bad that my honey managed to find me out although his first guess was WRONG!! I thought I managed to con him... Hahaha.... Anyway, I managed to confuse him a little bit. Hehe... There is longer story to this honey and bee thingy because I myself ruined my initial plan. Haha.. And that story just explained how blur I was....
4. One last thing that I can remember for now.... Haha.... There are some other things but forgive me because I always have memory loss... Well, I am never a good game player, especially for those games which need to use my brain. Just like what I said just now, I think my brain doesn't function well most of the time. Haha... BUT, I was proud of myself that I managed to get the answer TWICE for the CLUEDO game although there were people who were one step faster than me!!!! Never mind... Haha.... Also, I managed to get the clue of the games Edmond asked us to guess. Haha... Proudnya... Honestly, I am very bad at all these but somehow my brain worked that night... Haha.... But also sorry la my teammates for pictionary, because I did not know how to draw ENGLAND.... Hehe... I did not know the flag of ENGLAND.... I am deeply sorry about it. Now I will remember the flag of ENGLAND for the rest of my life...
Ok, still, it became a very long post... But who cares... This is the only way to help me remember things that I really want them to be remembered since I always memory loss.... This is not really long-term or even short-term memory loss... Maybe I should consider it as "Random Memory Loss"? =)

无题

一直以来我都很坚持，但最近或近几个月我的坚持开始动摇了。我需要答案，但我知道这个答案不是我一个人努力就可以找到，但可以和我努力的人却不在乎。。。我还能怎样？太多的话想说，却找不到聆听的人。。。我还应该执著吗？