B.r.E.a.K

It's Thursday.... Tomorrow will be Friday and then comes weekend!!!

I do look forward for weekend... But then another new week comes after the weekend...

Then another month...

Then another year... Then.... Hahaha....

Have to accept that time flies... =)

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Maybe not many people know that my parents divorced so many years ago...

We stayed with mom.

Haven't really kept in touch with my father since he decided not to give us monthly allowance...

Years back, he got a stroke... Then he stopped working... We visited him a couple of times.

Last year, he got another minor stroke... We visited him few times...

Weeks ago, he got another stroke... We visited him at the hospital during the last trip back to hometown...

Honestly, he feels strange to me... He looked so much older and weaker...

I stood in front of him, thinking hard what to say... I was told that he didn't speak since he admitted to hospital.

Even the doctor wasn't sure whether he does not want to talk or that he cannot talk.

I prayed for him before I left. The only I can do and he cannot stop me from doing so too. =)

Tears almost came out when I was in the elevator.

I asked myself many times, "Have I really forgiven him?"

I am not sure of the answer. I want to, but I am not sure whether I have...

I am sure my sis has greater love than me. She visited him many times and kept updating us of his condition...

I pray for him...

I know about honoring our parents...

But "parent" = one who gives birth to or nurtures and raises a child; a relative who plays a role of guardian....

He does not feel like someone like that to me....

Am I mad or angry at him? Honestly, no.

But he still feels strange or not familiar to me....

He was not in my life for so long....

The fact is, he is still my father.

Mom called yesterday and obviously she is not keen in knowing much or doing much for him.

I know mom has not forgiven him.

The good thing is that she doesn't hate him. At least not as much I think. =)

I will keep praying for my father and that God will take control.

I must say I have a heavy heart, I struggle, I hesitate.

I pray, Lord, to check my heart.

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I wonder where do all the emo-ness come from?

Lunch time is over soon and time to get back to work. =)

M.o.N.d.A.y.

Another new week~~

As mentioned in the previous post, last weekend was rather relaxing...

Maybe a little too relaxing that I am still not in the mood to start the new week... =P

Supposed to have a lunch appointment with my client but he is too busy today...

Had to cancel and re-schedule on another day...

Just got SMS from TSL saying that she will be in town for two days! Coolest!!

Time for some catching-up~~~

Better get back to work... Just wanted to clear my mind a bit... =P

Have a good week ahead, people~~~

R.e.L.a.X.i.N.g W.e.E.k.E.n.D

It's nice to be able to sleep and wake up anytime I want. Saturday is usually the only day of the week I get to do so... Provided I do not have something on and it has been quite long I get to do so... =)

Just came back from One U after accomplishing the "task" given by babe... It is a difficult task but I had fun accomplishing though... =P

Was just browsing through friends' blog and then my own... Have been using the same old color for quite long... Just thought should give it a change... Wanted to make it colorful but it won't suit my blog title quite well... Tried pink and I am really not a "pink" person... Speaking of that, I should really get one thing that is pink in color and put it in my handbag... Want to know why? Haha! So that I won't miss another pink day of BR when I happen to be around any BR outlet on Wednesday.. =P I was in One U with babe on Wednesday and I wanted to get BR ice cream... I was ransacking my handbag just to find something pink and couldn't find any... =( Will pink nail polish count? Hmmm....

Gonna have dinner with babe's family... I better start getting ready... I won't want the whole world to wait for me alone... =P

=)

Not sure there's still anyone reading my blog....
Just thought wanna drop a "Hi!" to prove that I am still alive...
Was trying to write more... But my brain is not functioning well at this hour....
Proves that it's time to sleep....
Good night~~

R.I.P.

Got a bad news today... A secondary school friend of mine committed suicide.

It was shocking to hear that...

I was not very close with him, but a group of us went kayak and camping once before.

Have been hearing or reading many suicide cases these few days.

Is this a trend?

I heard that he was in depression for quite some time.

I do not understand what does it feel like to be in depression.

Even if I have been in depression also, it must be very mild one.

I thank God that He has seen me through.

I do not know how much courage it takes to make a decision such as this.

But if you have the courage to take this step, why not use the same courage to live on and fight?

I always believe that dawn comes after the darkest time of the night.

I do not know what caused his depression.

But on separate cases where people commit suicide because being dumped, that I really cannot understand.

I just pray that other people who have read about all these cases will not be influenced and think that suicide is a good way out of trouble and sorrow.

Life is worth-living. You will never know what you might find along the journey.

The most important thing is that God will never plan an obstacle that you cannot handle in your life. You can be weary, but don't ever give up!

No matter what, you can seek refuge and strength from the Mighty God who knows your name even before you were born.

Honestly, I am still kind of in shock and feeling heavy for my friend's death.

Rest in peace, bro....

N.o.V.e.M.b.E.r

I have not updated my blog for quite awhile again, as usual...

I was quite busy this whole month. A lot of travelling involved.

This month has been a very interesting and memorable month, though quite tiring and packed.

Many things happened. Maybe I should just list down few that are more important.

1. Status changed. Yes, I am attached now. Many would have known already. For those who do not know yet, now you know. Haha... I am not sure whether I should "announce" like that here, but since I think he does not read my blog and not many people do also, so it's ok. =P Haha... He is a great blessing to me, so I want to share my happiness with people who care.

2. Went outstation alone for one week in Northern region. I felt excited because it was the first time I traveled alone like that. There were two seminars that I was involved, one in Pulau Jerejak and another one in Sungai Petani. Those were places that I am quite familiar of but still I got my mum and sis very worried about me that they call me few times a day. =) It's normal though for a girl to travel alone. It was quite tiring but fun!! =)

3. Home. Went back home for two days before my trip to Penang. To surprise mum and she was surprised! =) Another reason was to go home and check on the flood condition. To make sure that our house is safe from flood. To get ready if the flood get worse. Had a good time at home, as usual. Home sweet home... Shared a lot with mum this time back. Shared with her about this sweet guy I met here. Something I seldom do actually - sharing with mum about my relationship. =)

4. ShenZhen trip. It was a company trip which I was there for work. It was quite fun also but at the same time quite tiring. This was my first company trip and I had many "first time" there, so it was quite a good experience also. Many people said that it's nice to shop in ShenZhen but I didn't manage to get anything during the shopping session. Hm... I was really trying hard to find something to buy, haha, but mission failed... Haha.... So sorry, people... At the end, I only bought few books back from ShenZhen Airport. Haha...

5. Attended 2 weddings. One was my colleague - Isabelle's wedding. Attended her dinner in Ipoh. Then went to Raub to be her "ji muis". She is the funniest and most sporting bride I have ever seen. Another was my LF friends - Erica & Yew Leong's wedding. Even though I have not known them for very long, somehow I felt that their wedding ceremony and dinner were very touching. I think that was the first wedding that almost made me cry. =P Somehow... Wish these two couples stay sweet always and may God bless them abundantly~

So this month is going to an end soon. Looking forward for December. Christmas Session!!! A time to remember the great gift that has been given to us. A time to remind us to be a blessing to others. A time to be spent with our love ones. I am excited!!! =)

That's all for now... I hope my next post won't be too long apart with this post... =P

无奈

原来简单、单纯，一点都不容易。。。

当自己以为真的可以那么释然的时候，

却发现心会隐隐作痛。。。

那是久违了的感觉，

有点熟悉，却也有点陌生。。。

老实说，我不喜欢那种感觉。

但我也知道，那是必经的阶段。

我想，会习惯的。。。